For King and Country
by define crazy
Summary: Everything changing can all be blamed on a Mr. Fortinbras Took the second. Well, him and his strawberry wine... 'You need a dragon slayer, not a burglar. ' And as you have, Bilbo happened to know a dragon slayer. A very good one.
1. Strawberry Wine

**Blah, blah, blah, do not own, blah, blah, blah, harry potter, the hobbit, blah, blah, blah. See bottom for notes.**

**Procyon is pronounced Pro-see-on**

**Go have a look at the photobucket account. It has a very good map of middle earth. Link's on profile.**

**Enjoy, mes cheris.**

_It was a request from 'Fortinbras Took (the second), one of his many cousins to the deliver a package to Bree that lead to him being ambushed by bandits._

_'Bilbo, my wee little one has broken his leg and Lalia has asked me to stay a home with him. If you could take this package to Bree for me, not only would I be much obliged but I would be giving you a barrel or two of my strawberry wine for your trouble.'_

_It was the promises of a barrel of Strawberry wine that lead to him agreeing. The weather was calm and the road peaceful until he reached Brandywine Bridge. The only warning he had was fierce yelling before a pack of bandits jumped out of the trees to his left. The leader had a dark face, scarred from years of cruelty. 'Kill the hobbit and rob the body. Take the pony as well. We can make a pretty penny from it.'_

_ A small glint of silver, blink and you'll miss it, caught Bilbo's eye just before a large dagger became buried in the leader's eye. The blood ran thick and red and it turned his stomach as it dribbled down the scarred face. _

_The owner of the dagger practically melted out of the shadows, slitting the throat of a bandit before his sword was even fully drawn. Bilbo had slipped off Myrtle in the confusion and cowered behind the pony, cursing his cousin for giving him this nightmarish task. He winced softly at each horrible squelching noise of steel meeting flesh. The silence that came after was even worse. There were 7 bandits and only one stranger. The stranger probably lost and now the bandits are going to kill and rob him. Oh my, oh my, oh my._

_'That was a lot of trouble for one so little.' Bilbo shuddered before he peaked around the side of the Myrtle to see a human, who still looked young by the terms of men, calmly standing among bloody dead. 'Why would one such as yourself be riding alone, master hobbit?'_

_Bilbo moved out from behind his mount, brushing dust off his trousers and firmly looking anywhere but the corpses. 'I was riding to Bree to deliver a package, I'll have you know. Though, thank you for saving me but if you will excuse me, I'm heading back to The Shire.' The man made an amused sound in the back of his throat at the hobbit before raising a dark eyebrow._

_'Didn't you just say you were heading to Bree to deliver a package?'_

_'I was but after getting attacked by bandits, I think I'll just go straight home.'_

_The stranger made a low whistling sound and waited for a chestnut horse to come trotting around the bend and up to the waiting man. 'I have business in Bree. I could escort you there.'_

_Bilbo shook his head, brown curl flopping around. 'As kind as that is, I don't fancy taking the journey back.'_

_The man slipped a foot into one of the stirrups before swinging his leg over the horse. 'The road home takes me through The Shire. If you would but wait half an hour, I could take you home as well.'_

_Common sense demanded he say no but the thought of the strawberry wine made him nod his head. 'Again, thank you. Bilbo Baggins, at your service.'_

_The man gave him a lazy grin before nudging his horse to face Bree. 'Better saddle up then, Master Baggins. Procyon, at yours.'_

Bilbo looked around in dismay at the dwarves in his living room. They were drinking his wonderful strawberry wine. He has had it for over three years now and had been saving it for a special occasion. Eyes wandered before connecting with dark green. He took in the figure half in the shadows of one of his many doorways. Unease showed in tense muscles, one hand wrapped around a dagger the length of the hobbit's forearm. Bilbo took a small gulp as a second dagger slipped into Procyon's other hand.

_Bilbo settled into his arm, silently cursing the wizard. Him, going on some wild adventure, how preposterous was that. The poor hobbit's head jerked up at the sound of someone knocking on his door. Pushing himself out of the chair, Bilbo stalked towards the entrance, muttering all the while._

_'What part of good day did you not understand? I am not going on any blasted adventure! Now leave me al...' Bilbo trailed off as he yanked the door open, not to see a wizard dressed in gray but a man in dusty brown clothes, well-worn from travelling._

_'Is that any way to treat an old friend, Bilbo Baggins? One would think you are not happy to see me.' Even if Bilbo didn't recognize the man in from of him (which he did, thank you very much), the teasing voice and crooked half smile would have given him away anyway._

_'Procyon, I haven't seen you for months. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Mithlong for at least another summer.' The hobbit moved back out of the doorway while gesturing for his friend to come inside._

_'I finished earlier than I expected. I make for Lond Daer in the morning. I thought I would visit you before heading to Bree for the night.' Procyon rolled his shoulder after placing his pack on the floor, stretching his muscles. He unclipped the sword at his waist, before laying it on the top of the cupboard next to the door. Bilbo had made it very clear that when Procyon came visiting, he was to remove his sword. _

_'Nonsense, stay here tonight, I have nothing planned. You're probably exhausted from all the riding.' Procyon rocked on his heels before nodded, a thankful smile gracing his face._

_'Is it alright if I take a quick nap? I haven't slept well the last few nights.' _

_Bilbo herded the man towards the back of his house, nodded his head. 'Of course, of course, sleep. I'll wake you for dinner. You know where the big person's room is.'_

_Bilbo watched his friend disappear before settling back into his arm chair, completely forgetting about the wizard._

Bilbo muttered a quiet, "excuse me for a moment," before hurrying into the next into the next room where his other guest waiting.

"I quite recall you saying that you had nothing planned. Did that change while I was asleep?" Procyon's humorous tone didn't match his body language in the slightest as he knuckles were white from gripping his daggers.

"It's all Gandalf's fault. That blasted wizard sprung this all on me without any warning. They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done to the bathroom; they all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what those dwarves are even doing in my house?" Bilbo's eyes grew slightly misty in frustration before he blinked them clean.

"Do you want be to get rid of them?" Bilbo recoiled slightly, shocked. Procyon's normally teasing voice had gone icy and his eyes were hard as flint. The hobbit was given a very abrupt reminder that this was the man that wiped out 7 armed men and walked away with nary a scratch. A very, very minuscule part of him wanted to say yes and watch Procyon rid his house of his unexpected guests.

"Bilbo, where have you got to?" Bilbo flinched, head turning towards Gandalf's voice. "No, no, don't you worry about it. I'll take care of it." Procyon didn't answer, just moved back away from the dining room. Bilbo turned fully and hurried back into his dining room calling out to the wizard, "I'm coming Gandalf, hold on."

**Yes, yes, I know I promised to update The Sound of Madness But I'm having writer's block for that and I saw The Hobbit last month. **

** It was either write this or death by angry dwarfish muses. I kinda like staying alive, thank you very much. **

**I'm already working on chapter 2 for this so it should be out by the end of the month.**


	2. Dragon Fire

Bilbo honestly felt like crying. 13. There were 13 dwarves in his house and that godforsaken wizard. His house was ruined; his pantry empty and they had thrown around his mother's Westfarthing pottery which was over a hundred years old like it was nothing. Then they had laughed at him, like it was some great joke. He should of let Procyon thrown the damn dwarves out of his house and be done with it.

Then he had be insulted by that great brutish lump. Why in Yavanna's name would he know how to use a weapon. He was a hobbit not some, some dwarf. Then they started talking about a quest to reclaim some mountain. Why on earth would they want to reclaim a mountain? Bilbo had honestly had enough of this. Once they left, he was going to eat dinner in peace then go to bed. Dear lady, dinner. Procyon hadn't eaten yet; those damn dwarves had eaten everything. He was a terrible host.

There was even a dragon in the mountain. Gold or not, leave the forsaken thing alone. Good lady, what was wrong with these dwarves? Did they have rocks for brains? And as one of the dwarves pointed out, they didn't even have a way into the mountain. Though the word dragon made him frown as he tried to remember something. It had something to do with Procyon. Bilbo shook his head slightly before turned his attention to Gandalf. If it was that important, he would remember it.

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." The wizard declared as he held up what looked like an iron key.

Oakenshield, the leader of the horde of dwarves, stared at the key in shock. "How came you by this?"

"It was given to me by your father by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now" As Gandalf handed the key over, Bilbo stared at in annoyance. Yay, they have a key. Now get out of my house.

The blonde one, Fili or Kili he wasn't sure, lent forward before stating the obvious, "if there is a key, there must be a door."

Gandalf nodded before pointing to the map. "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."

The dwarf that arrived with the blonde, slung his arm around the blonde's neck before following in his footsteps with "There's another way in." Bilbo wasn't sure if it was just these two or if all dwarves had to point out the obvious.

Gandalf turned to face the young dwarf. "Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

One of the dwarves piped up with "that's why we need a burglar." Bilbo blinked before blinking again. They honestly thought that a burglar could get past a dragon. The wizard must be out of his mind. There was no way one earth he was going anywhere near a dragon, thank you very much.

"It sounds to me like you need a dragon slayer, not a burglar."

Bilbo took a slight step back as Oakenshield turned to meet his eyes. "Indeed. However since dragon slayers are a lot harder to find then a burglar, we must make due."

That's when he remembered what had been nagging him. Dragon slayer...

_Bilbo sat in the chair by the fireplace listening to the storm outside, worried and anxious. Procyon had arranged to come over for lunch at midday. An hour before hand, a storm had whipped up, unleashing rain and lightning. _

_Relief coursed through him when he heard banging on the door of his home. _

_Bilbo hurried over to the door, peered out the side window to check before letting in a soaking wet Procyon. _

_The human stood in the middle of the hallway before he winced, noticing the small puddle forming at his feet. "Sorry about the floor."_

_Bilbo felt a small flicker of pain for the wood before brushing the apology off. "Worry not; it won't be hard to clean up. You should get dry, wouldn't want you to fall ill."_

_The dark haired youth nodded before pulling a bundle of clothes out of his pack before ducking into the next room to change. _

_Bilbo moved into the kitchen to retrieve the food he had made. He just placed the food when he heard footsteps enter the room._

_"I forgot to grab a shirt." Bilbo just nodded before glancing up to see what Procyon had done with his wet clothes._

_Procyon spun around, hand flying to the dagger strapped to his thigh at the sound of a plate shattering against the floor. Bilbo stared at Procyon almost unaware of the plate as shock and horror blazing in his eyes._

_"Your, your, your back. Dear Lady, what happened to your back?" Procyon shrugged slightly, tension showing in his shoulders._

_"Dragon fire."_

_If possible, Bilbo's eyes got even bigger. "Dragon fire... Why on earth would you have scars from _Dragon _fire?"_

_Procyon turned and pulled a shirt from his pack before pulled it over his head, hiding the thick red burns that raced up his back and across one arm. "There were many dragons where I hailed from. I've faced 3 in my lifetime. It was the third one that gave me the scars. I gave it a sword in the neck in return." A faint smirk on his face as he nodded his head in the direction of the sword he always carried._

_Bilbo gaped at the sword. "How could that cut through dragon skin? It's like iron."_

_Procyon settled into a chair at the table, having made his way into the kitchen. "The sword was made a thousand years ago by my land's most skilled metalworkers, and is heavily enchanted. It also happens to be imbued with venom from a basilisk. There is only one cure to that venom and it can't be found of these shores so please do not touch it."_

A dragon slayer, a dragon slayer, Procyon was a dragon slayer. He said it himself that he had faced 3 dragons and that he had killed one. Plus, Procyon was always out on some adventure. It was obvious now. Bilbo would get Procyon to go instead. The dwarves would leave him alone and everyone would be happy.

"If you would all excuse me for a moment, I will be right back." Without waiting for an answer, Bilbo made a swift exit of the room and a bee-line for the big person's room at the back. Bilbo came to a halt before he tapped on the door, waiting for it to open.

"Do you want me to get rid of them now?" Bilbo jumped, unprepared for his friend's voice to come from behind him.

Procyon lent against the wall, one hand twirling a dagger around. "I heard most of what was said including that song about those things you hate. I'm going to go ahead and assume you came to find me because of dragon problem they have?"

Bilbo could only nod, mouth held firmly closed by the icy glint in his emerald eyes.

"Then my answer is a firm no. You are my friend Bilbo, one of few, and there isn't much I would refuse you but this is one of them. I have faced down 3 dragons and I would quite happily like to keep that number at 3. The last time I faced a dragon, I crawled away with fierce burns to my back and arm. The only reason I'm still alive is because of a very talented healer and a great dose of luck. It took months, months, of training to even get a fraction of the use in my arm back. Even now, it isn't at the level it was beforehand. I refuse to deal with their dragon problem. "

Bilbo's heart sunk with every world that passed Procyon's lips. By the end, it was down in his large, furry feet. There went his last change of being able to get out of this twice-damned quest.

Procyon sighed before slipping down to kneel before Bilbo. "I said I would not deal with the dragon. I never said I would not help you. I can be quite _persuasive_ when I want to be. Come; let us deal with the dwarves. If worse comes to worse, I think I'm strong enough to be able to pick them up and throw them out the door one by one. The wizard, I can drag out by his beard."

The corners of Bilbo's lips twitched at the images in his head as he led Procyon towards the dining room. Before they came into view of the dwarves, Bilbo turned slightly to face Procyon. "I think it would a good idea if you ah sheath you dagger before you go in there. A few look kinda twitchy."

Procyon nodded and slipped the dagger into the sheath on his outer thigh. His other dagger was already in its sheath on his other thigh. "Let's go deal with your other guests then.


End file.
